I’m sure that you are aware that sobriety is a lot more than quitting alcohol or drugs. Newly sober, it seems our human nature wants to make everything right as quickly as possible. From my experience and from observing many others, I don’t believe that it is humanly possible to fast track recovery. I tried to carry that out with all the strength I could muster and, in hindsight, I might have been better off by going down to the beach to try to stop a few waves from breaking. This takes time! And for me, it also took a village!
And of course, as someone who is prone to addiction, it is completely foreign to seek help or to allow others to step in and row the oars for a bit. But taking “contrary action” is critical.
I have had good and bad experiences with therapy. While chemically dependent, my experiences were mostly ineffective – go figure! As I gained strength in sobriety, through time and effort, my experiences with therapy became more rewarding.
Here is what I learned. Your therapist is critical. I would focus less on one that has addiction counseling experience and focus more on finding one that has a good understanding of their own self. Of course, if they have both, then you’re probably in good hands. The best way that I know how to describe what I am referring to is to direct you to the website of Alice Miller, a wonderful psychologist and author. The website address is www.alice-miller.com .
I have found Alice Miller an incredible source. Enter a search on her home page for “enlightened witness”. That description would be my recommendation of how to find the right counselor. Her book “The Drama of the Gifted Child” has changed my life.
If you’re newly sober, my one caution would be that getting too deep into this material (with so much going on already in early sobriety) would be putting the cart WAY, WAY before the horse! It has been my experience that tackling the subject that Alice Miller addresses is something that is better received when you have had some sobriety under your belt. I was well into my third year of sobriety before I was able to fully absorb her material. Before that, I was just too broken and too mentally weak.
Strength in sobriety comes the old-fashioned way – by putting in the time. And sometimes that’s just being sober and letting time heal you.
My Story 